I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize