Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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