u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
