He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
