i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
