just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she was so not down for the gang bang
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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