Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize