Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My vagina is very pro this idea
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
