I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
