Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
