I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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