i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
