their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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