I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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