I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
