I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
