No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
