Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize