Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
