so that wasnt chicken after all
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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