I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
