I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
