And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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