You're so nebulous sometimes
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
