my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
