adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
