I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
