We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
