What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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