saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
