The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
