why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize