last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
