Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
