i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
