I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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