my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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