Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
