Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And then he peed in my hair
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