Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
