dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
