you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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