yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
