I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
