giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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