I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
