I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
