if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
