38 yer olds are good kisserssss
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Randomize
