discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
