Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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