you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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