I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
