When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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