I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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