also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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