paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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