life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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