So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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