he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The air was thick with penises
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
