we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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