there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
